Selina Mandrake - The Slayer
“Selina Mandrake - The Slayer” is a parody (and an almost complete antithesis) of the television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and to a lesser extent the film), and also a tribute to it by Shlomi Fish, written as a kind of informal screenplay (similar to those that were found on the web). It mostly takes place in California in 2011, and references the original show. Other major sources of influence include Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, The Three Musketeers, various influences from Judaism (Tanakh , Talmud and post-Zionism), some Illuminati and Elders of Zion conspiracy theories, Neo-Objectivism and post-Objectivism, and the computer enthusiasts (“hackers”) subculture. Plot summary: A geeky Anglo-American girl in her high school senior year in 2011 California, ends up finding out that she is none other than The Slayer, a legendary heroine who is destined to slay many notable vampires and demons, culminating in none other than The Master, the vampire with the oldest soul. See how she manages to do so, despite being completely non-violent, and even supportive of the demons she encounters. Plot Selina Mandrake is an English-born-and-raised student in 2011 California, who wants to be a Near East Archaeologist, and who is an active user of Mandriva Linux, having requested her friend to install it for her, due to the fact it used to share her last name (“Mandrake”). At one point, she jokes with her two closest friends that she should change her name to Selina Mandriva (or Selina Mageia after its fork), which makes her think it is a name of a vampire slayer. She soon runs into The Guide who tells her that she is indeed “The Slayer” and that she possesses profound slaying skills. Selina then witnesses the Guide slay a vampire by throwing a stake to the vampire's heart, and realises she isn't dreaming or stressed. She decides to play along. Throughout the plot, Selina acts naturally, while expressing her emotions by getting angry, shedding tears, teasing the demons, feeling irritated at their weird behaviour or the awkwardness of the situation, asking questions about their whereabouts, etc. Selina ends up running into The Master, the vampire with the oldest soul. She befriends him and discovers he is none other than Charlemagne (or "Karl the Great"), a discovery which makes him get slain by her, to her great dismay, and causing her to burst into tears and leave the scene. After that, The Guide tells Selina that this is only the beginning, and that she should now slay the three other legendary Terran vampires, including The Slayer, the first vampirella to slay another vampire. Selina is unwilling to slay herself and she quits being a slayer, only to have The Slayer slain by The Guide and by her. After that, Selina is awarded a fancy ten-sided D&D-like die (pictured above), and discovers that she has become the legendary vampirella The Dispeller. She witnesses The Guide make a phone call to Mosheh Ben-Amram, whom she talked with online, and finally realises is in fact the modern incarnation of Moses, the ancient Israelite prophet. The Guide tells her to relax and enjoy her vacation and even tell her friends about what happened to lift the burden from her chest, which she does. During the final set of scenes, after Selina graduated from high school, and started learning for her B.A. in Near East Archaelogy, she meets Mosheh and his brother Aharon (= the Biblical Aaron) face to face. They explain that the series of slayings were in fact tests for her new role as a The Dispeller, who was supposed to succeed The Slayer. The latter is in fact none other than Milady de Winter from Alexandre Dumas’ The Three Musketeers. They introduce her to Kate, who is the Selinaverse version of Milady de Winter. She started her career as a vampire, by being assigned to “slay” The first duke of Buckingham, by faking his murder, and leaving with him to the British colonies in the United States, where they both started new lives. After hearing that, Selina toys with the idea of being The Dispeller, only to decide that the whole ordeal is ridiculous, and to ask to dispel the whole obsession with Gods/Godesses / profiles and labels, and to simply be the wonderful individual that she is. Mosheh congratulates her for her decision and indicates that there are changes coming throughout the universe, having commemorated that. After all that, Selina requests Kate, Mosheh, and Aharon to help with her Cuneiform homework, and they agree as «bampires still have responsibilities as normal human beings, and we always try to assist a fellow vampire. ». The Selinaverse Note: More information can be found in the article about the Selinaverse . As opposed to other works of Buffy fanfiction, Selina Mandrake - The Slayer takes place in the Selinaverse, which is supposedly the real world, where people have watched and enjoyed the original shows, and consider them as fiction. The concept of a vampire is very different in the Selinaverse than in the various Buffy fanfiction. Some links about the Selinaverse are: * Shlomi Fish’s blog post “We are the Qs of the Q Continuum” * Star Trek: “We, the Living Dead” - more marketed as “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” fan fiction, but still part of the Selinaverse. External Links * “Selina Mandrake - The Slayer”’s homepage - on Shlomi Fish’s site. * Ongoing text of the screenplay * Screenplay’s Source project page on GitHub Notable Characters and Concepts * Aharon (Selinaverse) * Alexandre Dumas (Selinaverse) * Athos (Selinaverse) * Cardinal Richelieu (Selinaverse) * d'Artagnan (Selinaverse) * Jessica (Selinaverse) * John and Alan * Jonathan (Selinaverse) * Kate (Selinaverse) * Louis XIII (Selinaverse) * Matthew (Selinaverse) * Mephiqoleth * Mosheh (Selinaverse) * Selina Mandrake * Q Continuum (Selinaverse) * The Guide Category:Parodies Category:Scripts Category:Selina Mandrake - The Slayer